Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Liam’s true nature has manifested

Click play if you want to hear music.

Here's the story. I went to see a fortune teller. She told me that I would go on an epic adventure and that I would run into and help incarcerate an unclean spirit. I told her that I didn't believe in divination (magic and predicting the future) and that what she told me was full of rubbish. When I got home I opened my closet to get something, and found that it had turned into a portal that looked like a vortex. I decided to take a gamble and see where it would take me, not knowing if I would be able to return from what lies beyond. I emerged in Sunset Valley inside the science lab. I was astonished that I was actually in The Sims! I decided to go pay Liam a visit.

When I arrived at his house, I found that the door was already open. I was walking around the house, not finding anyone in sight. I went up the stairs and peeked inside his bedroom to see if he was there. The curtains were closed and it was dark. I saw a demonic figure that resembled Liam kneeling before an upside down pentagram adorned with lit candles. Above it was a picture of Mrs. Crumplebottom with horns and a crown. Liam was speaking in strange tongues. I saw that he had killed his house mates, Kim Kent and Piper Hipp, and was offering them to her as a sacrifice. He heard the door creak, and he looked behind himself with an utter look of scorn on his face. I ran for the front door as fast as I could. It shut and locked by itself. Liam flew down the stairs, telling me that he would kill me and offer my soul to the Prude of Darkness. I remembered that I had a bottle of holy water in my pocket. I took it out and splashed him with it. He was screaming in agony and having convulsions on the floor. I unlocked the door, swung it open, and ran for my life.

I got into a car and started driving to the closest church I could find. Liam was flying after me, throwing fire balls at me and screaming in strange tongues. I finally reached the church. I got out of the car and sprinted for the entrance. Liam picked it up and hurled it at me. I barely dodged out of its way. It ended up hitting and damaging a wall. I ran inside, and Liam hesitated to follow me. I found a priest in there and told him about the whole ordeal. I also kept a recording device in my pocket, and I played it backwards. The strange tongue was perfect English played backwards. He was screaming obscenities and praising the Prude of Darkness. The priest and I worked out a plan. I walked outside and acted as bait. I told him that he was a coward for not entering the church to chase after me and that he was too scared to be anywhere near a house of divine worship. He took the bait and lunged toward me with great fury. He flew into the church after me. I entered the worship area and the priest threw holy water onto him. He fell to the floor and we tied him down. The priest brought over sacred and blessed objects. He started the exorcism. Liam was convulsing and moaning. Right before the exorcism was complete, he told us in a deep, otherworldly voice, "If you live until Doomsday, you shall burn another week longer than SimCity! I swear it!" He further condemned the divine and said that the entirety of SimCity would be in the Prude of Darkness' hands. Once the exorcism was complete, he vanished without a trace. We assumed that he was sent back to the Inferno.

I ran as fast as I could to the science lab, not before having a nice cup of tea at the Goth residence, of course. I dove into the portal and arrived back in my house. I placed a grenade (which I just happened to have) at the base of the portal and ran and ducked for cover. “BOOM!” I looked over to where my closet once was. It was completely destroyed, along with part of the hallway, but at least the portal was gone. I went to see the fortune teller and told her everything that happened. She was surprised and was happy that I was ok. She offered to read my fortune again. I ran out of the door screaming.

There, now that's a true story! (Just joking, lol)

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