Monday, September 12, 2011

1, 2, 3, Not Just Liam and Me...

Sometime after returning more fully to EA from his other part-time job at Moulin Rouge, Liam felt the desire to go back on stage. He decided that he would keep his other part-time job at the ice cream parlor, but would perform by night. He was looking for job opportunities in the job columns as well as online, until he ran across one that he thought his talents could apply to. He then made his way down to the bar/club in the red light district of SimCity. As he went inside, he saw all these other dames applying for the same job. But before long someone recognized him and yelled "Hey! It's Liam Rouge!" Everyone in the room turned their heads in his direction, staring at him. Liam starting feeling a little uncomfortable, but then the owner of the club came out to see what the hubub was about. He saw Liam and said "It's the amazing Liam Rouge!" We waved his hand and said "Sorry, ladies, but I've found my new performer! You are all dismissed." All of the women left, grumbling to themselves and each other. The owner of the club told Liam that he would perform a trio with two of his other performers, Elijah the Elegant and Hag the Haute. Liam at first objected to performing with that plumbob-forsaken Hag, the bane of his existence (and tormentor of his mind and soul), but then agreed to it once his new boss told him that he'd be paid a handsomely for each performance.

Liam was preparing for the performance that night. He had practiced and practiced with Hag and Elijah and memorized all of the choreography. He had just finished getting in costume and putting makeup on when someone knocked on his dressing room door. He told them to come in, which they did and said "You're on in  five minutes" and left. He (Liam) left the dressing room and waited on stage with the others for the performance to start. He eventually heard his boss say "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a spectacular new show for you tonight. It is a sensual and splendid performance trio featuring the great Liam Rouge! *Everyone breaks out in thunderous applause* Now put your hands together for the amazing, the fantastical, the enchanting act that is the Tantalizing Trio!

Click the play button if you want to hear music.

The curtains opened to reveal Liam, Elijah, and Hag. The crowd went wild. The show began with some generic pole dancing, but soon transitioned into an extravaganza. Liam climbed up the pole, hang on to it with just one leg, took out a unicorn-themed electric guitar (which was protruding 5 feet from his crotch), and started playing it. Elijah used nagging as background vocals, as he had perfected the Total Drama Queen persona. Hag used moans like Madonna does in Like a Virgin as background vocals as well. By the end of the show, they were practically tied in knots on the pole, so they needed a boy scout master to untie them. The curtains closed and there was thunderous applause. The owner said "Make sure to come by tomorrow when the Tantalizing Trio performs Lady Marmalade! :-O"

After the show was over,  Liam, Elijah, and Hag went into the backroom to chill out. Elijah asked "Who wants to play Twister?" Liam said "I don't know. Things got pretty awkward when I played it with Lia..." Elijah replied with "Oh, come on! Don't be such a wuss!" Liam decided to agree and the three of them started playing Twister. As the game progressed, things got awkward. Hag was at 180 degrees, with his back facing the floor and his hands on four different spots. Soon, Liam had to move on top of Hag in which he was facing him, which caused Liam to continuously blush from embarrassment. Soon after that, Elijah had to get on top of Liam in which he was facing his back. Now Chatter was backstage because she wanted to find out how the trio did such amazing choreography. When she opened the door to the backroom, she saw Hag, Liam, and Elijah on top of each other. Hag had a WTF look on his face, Liam had a totally embarrassed look on his face, and Elijah looked weirded out or disturbed. They hadn't noticed Chatter yet, but then she quickly said "OMG guys!" and took some photographs at the same time. The trio fell down and were squirming in a panic. She said "Don't worry, guys. Your secret's safe with me. ;-) *Crosses fingers*" The three of them got up and started chasing her.

They followed her outside around the corner. She kept running, but eventually stopped at an ice cream cart to buy a cone with sprinkles, while the others ran past her like buffoons. They realized this and circled back. She ran away, so they decided to stop and get some ice cream themselves. Liam got a rainbow pop, Elijah got a fudgsicle, and Hag got a frozen yogurt cone. They continued chasing her, while they were licking and enjoying their frozen treats. They finally chased her into an alley, but then saw her run up the side of the building at the end of it. She ran to the top, and the others wondered how the fudge she did it. They then realized they had to tap into their inner Matrix powers, which they did and followed suit. When they got to the top, they had a battle with her. Liam took a trash can lid and threw it like a deadly Frisbee, but Chatter leaned backwards as she just barely missed it, and it was going over her in drearily slow motion. They did a lot of martial arts crap after that. Eventually Chatter got fed up and ran over to the flag pole in which she swung around at amazing speed. She kicked all thee of them off of the roof, in which they ended up landing in a daycare for toddlers. The people who worked there called the police and they got arrested for suspicion of pedophilia. They were released from jail the next day when it was verified that they didn't do anything to the children.

They decided to go to Liam's house to change into normal clothes and take a break. While they were there, Liam checked his Facebook and saw the pictures that Chatter took all over it. Besides that, it was also front page news on celebrity gossip sites. He called the others over to look, and they did, which caused them to practically die of embarrassment. They all got PM's from Chatter saying "Trolololololololololololol". The end.

.....or is it? :-O