Saturday, February 11, 2012

EA's Shorty Awards Conspiracy

When EA first heard of the Shorty Awards, they became completely obsessed with it. They orgasmed at the idea of winning a crummy award for social media, and they lusted after it so profusely and profoundly that they would do anything to obtain it. To them receiving it would be like a manifestation of their "divine birthright" to be highly exalted as if they were some kind of corporate deity. Their social media tactics are in fact the very brainwashing technology that they use to convince many simmers that they are in fact a benevolent company that lives to serve the every whim of their clientele. This is the reason they want to win it: so that their egomaniacally narcissistic motives will be further masked under the facade of something philanthropic.

To help ensure that their brainwashing found its way to all Shorty Award voters, they bribed Ghostbusters to capture Winston Churchill's soul so that they could use the essence of a great public figure for something more sinister: serving as a surrogate and broadcasting device for channeling manipulative energy from Liam O'Dourke, the Prude of Darkness's favored minion and evil-incarnate, to the cyber public. The energy is programmed to compel people to surrender their voting suffrage to EA, so the very moment they lay eyes on captive Winston Churchill's iconic face paired with "Oops, something is technically wrong. The Shorty Awards will return soon." they are bombarded with subliminal messaging through the medium of metaphysics. 

As you can see above, Liam is fiercly stimulating his Third Eye chakra for the malevolent purpose of psychically channeling his own energy into the very being of Winston Churchill for the use of broadcasting mass exploitation and delusion. EA made a pact with the Prude of Darkness: they use Liam and Churchill to do evil and they in turn will receive fulfillment of their avaricious desires. But how do we stop EA's sinister plot to subtly hoodwink the public into serving their self-indulgent motives? Your answer is just a phone call away:

If you want to hear music, then click the play button.

If there's something glitched
In your Internet
Who ya gonna call?

If your site is down
And it don't look good
Who ya gonna call?

P.S. Beside serving the Prude of Darkness, EA is also a puppet for the Illuminati. After the false alien invasion takes place that results in the establishing of the New World Order, EA will be rewarded with a charming gift basket full of chocolate coins that symbolizes their favored and patron false god: money.

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